Reflections on a Heart- and Time-Stopping Event

I met him for the first time when I was a freshman in high school.  He was a little guy, but for me it was love at first sight.  I was aware of just about everything he did, from the first words I heard him speak, to when and where he went, who and what he was interested in.  

After I left a few years later for college, our time together was more infrequent.  Fast forward to when we were both middle-aged. We met one afternoon just to talk, and as I was describing some age-appropriate challenges, he suddenly said, “What you need is a hug.”

 Be still my heart!

 We both stood up, and I realized how big a man he had become, over six feet-one and 200 pounds.

He wrapped me in a bear hug that even today I can still feel. 

Then some 20-years later on, as I was preparing for my husband’s funeral, my cell phone rang.  He was calling.  He said, “I just want to know you’re all right.”  He helped me be all right.

But now I’m not so much.  Last weekend, he — my only brother — passed away. Suddenly and without warning. It’s left me more than a little irked. It’s not what I see as right. I was the first-born of my parents’ children.  He was the fourth.

An Oldest Daughter’s lament

So how is it that he leap-frogged ahead of me in a game I never agreed to play and left first? 

I was a freshman when we met, and life was never the same afterward.  I am a senior now and, without him, life will never again be the same. But I’ve received something that can never be taken away. 

The treasure of a brother’s love.  

Patricia Schudy

Patricia Schudy is the author of the non-fiction book, "Oldest Daughters: What to know if you are one or have ever been bossed around by one," and is currently writing a suspense-romance novel. She is a former nationally syndicated, youth-advice columnist ("Talk to Us," Universal Press Syndicate/Andrews McMeel) and a free-lance feature writer for local and national publications, ncluding Better Homes and Gardens /Meredith Publications, the Kansas City STAR Magazine and the National Catholic Reporter. She is a member of Sisters in Crime (SINC), Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers, and Northern Colorado Writers. The oldest child in her family-of-origin’s five siblings, she is the mother of five adult children and the grandmother of eight. “Relationships are integral to who I am and what I choose to write about.”

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Nora Ellen Richard

    Beautifully shared. Thank you. I have one brother and we are close. I feel your loss knowing how hard it would be to lose my only dear brother.

  2. Jack Hunthausen

    Dear Pat: It is amazing how God works behind the scenes to let us know that we are alright and that He loves us unconditionally. Keep the faith! Jack

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